Upward Journey Coaching, LLC

Middle age 

Forty years to current time​

 

My children completed school and moved on with their lives during my early 40's.  My son never married and has no children.  Sadly, he passed away less than a year ago.  My daughter married and had three children of her own.  My father passed away in 2004, and my mother in 2006.  

 

I began working in the food industry, became an owner of a restaurant in the mid 90's.  Unfortunately, health issues became a hindrance and I had to close the restaurant in the fall of 1999.  Bouncing between jobs for several years, I had no idea what I wanted to do for a job.  Finally, after the fifth job, I began working for a church. 

 

I was about 40 years old, and after a few years the pastor retired and a new one came.  He began to manipulate, control and demean me gradually to the point that I felt I had to do whatever he said or would lose my job; and he promised that I would never find another job anywhere.  He was very influential and well-known in the community.  After a few years of mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual abuse he began to sexually abuse me.  My health deteriorated and at a point it was thought I had a heart attack. 

 

It turned out to be a severe panic attack, but it cost me my job.  It wasn't until then and with the help of a dear friend I was able to see what he did to me.  It took another year before I sought professional help, and 4 1/2 years of intense work before I was able to heal from the effects of both the childhood and adult abuse.  I continued in therapy for another 3 years undoing the crisis management skills and replacing them with healthy life skills.  Another year was spent learning to develop stronger relationships through boundaries and, in some cases removing myself from caustic relationships.  Then came training for my purpose as a mental health coach, acquiring 9 certifications in mental health coaching, attaining a business license, as well as insurance.  

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Today I live a life of freedom and understanding of how the abuse impacted my though process, relationships and overall well-being.  I will never be completely free from the effects because the damage the abuse did to my body, but I can and do live much better and healthier mentally and emotionally than I could have ever dreamed possible.

 

About six years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer, requiring a mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation.  I underwent a breast reduction on the remaining breast, and had reconstruction surgery.  I thought I knew fatigue until undergoing the healing process from cancer and its treatments. 

 

The death of my son has deepened a dimension of sorrow that no individual should have to experience.  I see it as an added layer of understanding and insight as I work with trauma survivors.  My heart still hurts, and tears randomly fall for what sometimes seems no reason.  My love for him will never fade, and I think of him daily.